Assalamualaikum papaaaa:)
As always, I miss u so much dad!! Aku lagi sakit paaa, ibu juga lagi sakiit, rehan juga sakiiit, mba nina juga sakit. Semua sakit paaa. Hmm, kmrn rehan ngomongin papa mulu. Dia bilang dia kangen papa. Aku diceritain katanya rehan nangis kangen papa. Katanya rehan dia mimpi ketemu papa. "Rehan mimpi ke makam papa, nabur bunga. Trus rehan bilang ke papa 'rehan sayang papa' trus kata papa 'iya terimakasih ya sayaang, papa juga sayang rehan' gitu" dia ngomong gitu ke aku pa, matanya berkaca-kaca. Kita semua disini kangen papa. Aku gak tega liat rehan yg masih 5tahun nangis kayak gitu pa. Dia masih gaktau apa2. Aku beruntung masih bisa sama papa 15tahun. Sampe sekarang baju2 papa belom di apa2in. Masih didalem lemari kayak biasa. Ibu belom kuat ngeluarin baju2 papa yg pasti banyak kenangannya. Pa.... Papa sayang nisa kan? Papa sayang aku juga kan? Soalnya aku sayang bgt sama papa. Sayang bgt bgt bgt sama papa. Aku inget waktu itu. Disaat nafas papa udh pendek, pas aku nangis diluar, papa masih nanyain aku 'nisa mana?' Dengan suara papa yg udh serek bgt. Aku inget pas papa dibawa ke rumah, aku liat papa dari atas, aku gak percaya kalo yg dikafanin itu bener2 papa. Malah pas dokter bilang kalo papa gak ada, aku msh ngerasa papa bakal bangun lagi buat aku. Aku kira papa bakal pertahanin hidup buat ngehidupin keluarga papa lagi. Ternyata nggak. Papa bener2 ninggalin semuanya. Semua masalah di dunia. Banyak yg bisikin di kuping aku hari itu "ini yg terbaik buat papa, buat kamu, buat semuanya. Tuh liat papa udh tidur tenang, udah gak sakit lagi, udah gak pake infus2 lagi, papa udah tenang, ikhlasin ya saa" dan itu bikin aku sedikit kuat pa. Ya, aku tau papa udah tenang sekarang. Nisa sayang papa. Sayang banget sama papa. Temen aku pada cerita "aaaah kesel gue sama bokap gue blablala" "yesss kemaren gue dikasih duit dong sm papa gueee" "bokap gak ngizinin" dan dan dan semua ttg papa. Aku cuma bisa diem. Aku ga bisa lagi ngukir kenangan sama papa. Aku gak bisa lagi bikin sesuatu sama papa. Aku gak bisa lagi ngelakuin kebiasaan kita dulu sm papa. Bahkan sekarang aku gak bisa lagi ngeliat papa. Ngeliat keriput di pipi papa kalo lagi senyum, ngeliat papa yg kalo nguap besaaar bgt mulutnyaa hahaha, ngeliat papa ngegodain rehan, ngeliat papa pulang kerja, ngeliat papa pas bangunin aku pagi2, ngeliat papa pulang solat di mesjid, ngeliat papa main komputer, ngeliat papa marah2, aku gak bisa liat semua itu lagi. Papaku udah pergi dari dunia ini. Tapi... Dia gak akan pernah pergi dari hati aku dan pikiran aku. Nggak akan. Aku nyesel pa. Nyesel banget. kalo tau papa bakal ninggalin aku secepet ini, aku gakmau buang2 waktu aku buat banggain papa. Buat bikin papa nangis bangga liat aku. Buat bikin papa bilang "papa bangga sama kamu sa". Aku kangen banget sama papa. Pengen meluk papa. Penge...........en banget. Kita semua disini kangen papa. Aku bantu doa ya pa dari sini. I love u with all of my heart daddy. If u're still here, I'll hug u tight just like I'll never let u go. But in fact, u already gone. Left me and other. But I believe in God. God has the best plan for me. I believe that. Bantuin aku buat ngejalanin hari2 ke depan ya paaa. Skrg aku udah jarang nangis kok paaa, cuma kadang2 ajaa. Semuanya bantu aku buat jadi tegar kok. keep smilin in heaven daddyyy! Always smile there, for me. U know I loooooove u so muchh! I miss u. I need u. Come to my dream everynite pleasee. LOVEUUUU! hughughuggg ({})
Your daughter,
Nisha :')
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
bout me
Well, skrg gue udh di sma. Kelas 1. Ya walaupun baru ngerasa kehidupan masa sma sekitar 7bulan, tp ya gue udh punya kesan2 gue. Hmmm mulai darimana ya... Oke, di sma ini, sulit bgt buat gue. Why? Soalnya papa... Ya u guys know it ryt? My daddy's gone. Dia meninggal sebelum liat gue pake seragam putih abu2. Pengen bgt pamer ke dia, tp udh gak bisa lagiiii :J tapi allah adil kok sama gue. DIA ngasih gue amazing people around me yg bikin gue stronger to face tomorrow, without daddy. Allah baik banget sama gue. Walaupun sampe skrg gue gatau apa hikmah dr meninggalnya papa. Well, I'll let u rest in peace dad. Just keep smilin there, for me.
Yayayaaa, itu sulit bgt buat gue. Ngadepin hidup tanpa seorang papa. Tapi gue nyoba buat tegar kok skrg. Well, then I have the greatest family here. Yeeeep! I don't know how I can live without 'em. Yaa, ibu. She's my suppah-dupah-hero on the earth for me. Ya walaupun seriiiiiiing bgt gue marah sm ibu grgr beda pendapat, tp abis itu gue selalu mikir kok yg dilakuin ibu selalu ada baiknya buat gue. Sedih juga sih sampe skrg gue gak bisa bikin dia seneng. Then I hv bro, lil bro and amazing sister. Yeppp, they're always support meee. Thank y'all! I love ya with all of my heart!:)
Sooo.. What next? Oh, my boyf. Yepp, he's the best one too. He's tryin his best for me, I know that hahaha. Yeaaa, we're in love as teenage. He make my day much brighter. Its like... He bring happiness to me. Ya walaupun kadang2 bikin bete, marah, nangis, ngangenin, unpredictable bgt deh pacarku iniii hihi. His name is rikkya. U know it ryt? Wkwkwk :p yeaaa, I just hope we can make it last rik. Amin:)
I'll never forget my BESTIEEEES!!!! Oh noooo, how I miss them so much!! Its so hard to meet them. They're busy, and then me too. I really wanna meet u guys. Gossiping, share stories, hugging each other, laughing out loud, show our craziness, oh nooooo, I'm too missing u guyssss! When we will meet again? I miss my precious gurlssss! Thank God, I have my besties. U really rock guys. U mean so much, very much for me. Don't forget about our memories when we're hang out together. Laff ya guys :*
Lil flashbaaack makes me sad:') everything looks perfect in the past. And everything seems fear in the future.
My high school's life.... Isn't good yet. I don't feel the truly 'kehidupan masa sma' yg indah kata orang2. Pengeeeen bgt ngerasain itu as soon as possible. Tp kayaknya gak mgkn. Why? Its bcs... Honestly, I don't love my high school-_- yaayayaaa terdengar kejam... Tp its true. Sampe skrg gue msh gatau apa yg harus gue banggain di sklh gue. Ya smg aja gue bisa ngerasain masa2 indah itu deh. How about friend? Em.... I found new friend here. Yep, of course I found some. Susah banget buat adaptasi lagi. Udh nyaman di smp, temennya udh 'klop' bgttt, eh hrs pisah, di sma harus kenalan lagi doooooh. Sometimes I just wanna pause the time, then take some rest, without thinking about my problem. Life just goes too fast, I think. Kadang pengen bgt break all rules yg adaaa, pengen ngelakuin apapun. Biar ada yg beda dari 'rutinitas' sehari2 gue. Oh noooo, I'm bored with wake up early, take a bath, breakfast, go to school, study, blahblahblahhhhh~ gue tuh mau ngelakuin hal baru tiap harinyaaa, but but buttt.... Gue terlalu takut buat ambil resiko-_-v oke ini sangat mengharuskan gue buat ngejalanin semuanya kayak biasa. Sma itu keras bgt coy! Gila gilaaaaaaa! Gua gila disini! Tugas: non stop. Ulangan: gak ada yg gak remed. Sma yg gue kira bakal jadi masa indah gue ternyata nggak. Beda bgt. Sedih T_T frustasi guaaaaa:'( lo bayangin dooong, 17 mata pelajaran dijejelin tiap hari. Mau jadi apaaaaa otak guaaa???????! Trus ada beberapa guru yg demen bgt nyuruh gue ngeringkas satu bab.. Ngapain beli buku kalo harus ditulis ulang HELLOOOOOO!!!! Gila bgt gilaaaa! Oiya ada lagi, gurunya gak becus ngajar, ngmg aja gak bener, tp soal nilai BEEEEEH pelit bgt ngasih nilai. Jaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang bgt ada yg dpt 8, whatthe....... Hhhhh sabar bgt gue ngadepin guru2 itu. Belom lagi kesiswaan. Astaga.... Udh lah cukup gue ngejelekinnya. Tp yg pasti sma itu keras. Dan mau gak mau gue harus nyoba buat memperkeras mental gue jugaaaa. With my amazing given from God.. Family, besties, boyfie, and others, I'll face the world. I'll face tomorrow. I'll face anything in front of me.
Dear God,
Gimme the strength to live. I'm too small in this BIGGGGG world. give the best for me. Show me which one good, or bad for me. Show me who is my friend, or just fake friend. Show me what I suppose to know, tell me what should I do. I really need Ur help. I really do.
Me,
Nisha
Yayayaaa, itu sulit bgt buat gue. Ngadepin hidup tanpa seorang papa. Tapi gue nyoba buat tegar kok skrg. Well, then I have the greatest family here. Yeeeep! I don't know how I can live without 'em. Yaa, ibu. She's my suppah-dupah-hero on the earth for me. Ya walaupun seriiiiiiing bgt gue marah sm ibu grgr beda pendapat, tp abis itu gue selalu mikir kok yg dilakuin ibu selalu ada baiknya buat gue. Sedih juga sih sampe skrg gue gak bisa bikin dia seneng. Then I hv bro, lil bro and amazing sister. Yeppp, they're always support meee. Thank y'all! I love ya with all of my heart!:)
Sooo.. What next? Oh, my boyf. Yepp, he's the best one too. He's tryin his best for me, I know that hahaha. Yeaaa, we're in love as teenage. He make my day much brighter. Its like... He bring happiness to me. Ya walaupun kadang2 bikin bete, marah, nangis, ngangenin, unpredictable bgt deh pacarku iniii hihi. His name is rikkya. U know it ryt? Wkwkwk :p yeaaa, I just hope we can make it last rik. Amin:)
I'll never forget my BESTIEEEES!!!! Oh noooo, how I miss them so much!! Its so hard to meet them. They're busy, and then me too. I really wanna meet u guys. Gossiping, share stories, hugging each other, laughing out loud, show our craziness, oh nooooo, I'm too missing u guyssss! When we will meet again? I miss my precious gurlssss! Thank God, I have my besties. U really rock guys. U mean so much, very much for me. Don't forget about our memories when we're hang out together. Laff ya guys :*
Lil flashbaaack makes me sad:') everything looks perfect in the past. And everything seems fear in the future.
My high school's life.... Isn't good yet. I don't feel the truly 'kehidupan masa sma' yg indah kata orang2. Pengeeeen bgt ngerasain itu as soon as possible. Tp kayaknya gak mgkn. Why? Its bcs... Honestly, I don't love my high school-_- yaayayaaa terdengar kejam... Tp its true. Sampe skrg gue msh gatau apa yg harus gue banggain di sklh gue. Ya smg aja gue bisa ngerasain masa2 indah itu deh. How about friend? Em.... I found new friend here. Yep, of course I found some. Susah banget buat adaptasi lagi. Udh nyaman di smp, temennya udh 'klop' bgttt, eh hrs pisah, di sma harus kenalan lagi doooooh. Sometimes I just wanna pause the time, then take some rest, without thinking about my problem. Life just goes too fast, I think. Kadang pengen bgt break all rules yg adaaa, pengen ngelakuin apapun. Biar ada yg beda dari 'rutinitas' sehari2 gue. Oh noooo, I'm bored with wake up early, take a bath, breakfast, go to school, study, blahblahblahhhhh~ gue tuh mau ngelakuin hal baru tiap harinyaaa, but but buttt.... Gue terlalu takut buat ambil resiko-_-v oke ini sangat mengharuskan gue buat ngejalanin semuanya kayak biasa. Sma itu keras bgt coy! Gila gilaaaaaaa! Gua gila disini! Tugas: non stop. Ulangan: gak ada yg gak remed. Sma yg gue kira bakal jadi masa indah gue ternyata nggak. Beda bgt. Sedih T_T frustasi guaaaaa:'( lo bayangin dooong, 17 mata pelajaran dijejelin tiap hari. Mau jadi apaaaaa otak guaaa???????! Trus ada beberapa guru yg demen bgt nyuruh gue ngeringkas satu bab.. Ngapain beli buku kalo harus ditulis ulang HELLOOOOOO!!!! Gila bgt gilaaaa! Oiya ada lagi, gurunya gak becus ngajar, ngmg aja gak bener, tp soal nilai BEEEEEH pelit bgt ngasih nilai. Jaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang bgt ada yg dpt 8, whatthe....... Hhhhh sabar bgt gue ngadepin guru2 itu. Belom lagi kesiswaan. Astaga.... Udh lah cukup gue ngejelekinnya. Tp yg pasti sma itu keras. Dan mau gak mau gue harus nyoba buat memperkeras mental gue jugaaaa. With my amazing given from God.. Family, besties, boyfie, and others, I'll face the world. I'll face tomorrow. I'll face anything in front of me.
Dear God,
Gimme the strength to live. I'm too small in this BIGGGGG world. give the best for me. Show me which one good, or bad for me. Show me who is my friend, or just fake friend. Show me what I suppose to know, tell me what should I do. I really need Ur help. I really do.
Me,
Nisha
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